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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22741126">could have, should have</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kanae/pseuds/Kanae'>Kanae</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, F/M, Post-Gaiden, yep still haunted by what-ifs - this was my way to cope</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 08:14:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>799</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22741126</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kanae/pseuds/Kanae</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In the aftermath of the war and the years that follow, Karin is left with nothing but what could have been’s.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Karin &amp; Uchiha Sasuke, Karin/Uchiha Sasuke, mentions of one-sided Uchiha Sasuke/Haruno Sakura</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>54</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>could have, should have</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Thank you very much to everyone who has commented on my previous SK piece. This is another old one, originally posted on Tumblr back on 2018, though I've tweaked it a little since then.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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      <hr/>
      <p>.</p>
      <p>.</p>
      <p>. </p>
      <p>In the aftermath of the war and the years that follow, Karin is left with nothing but what could’ve been’s.</p>
      <p>When she saw him with his old teammates, she could’ve rushed to him. Could have seized him by the shoulders and demanded to know how he got himself so roughened up. Could’ve fought back traitorous tears to tell him she was relieved to see him alive. Could have been <em>there</em> instead of staying back, hands limp by her sides and heart aching as she saw his smile.</p>
      <p>When he asked if they wanted to go with him to Konoha while they recovered, Karin could have said yes. Could have told him Suigetsu was right, she did want to stay with Sasuke no matter where he was. Could have brushed her fingers against his cheek instead of crossing her arms across her chest.</p>
      <p>Could’ve followed him instead of Orochimaru.</p>
      <p>When he showed up at Orochimaru’s base one year and a half later to ask for intel on the Ōtsutsuki, hair longer than Karin had ever seen him wear it, she could have asked to join him. Could have offered her skills, her mind, her heart. Could have said and done a lot of things, instead of simply watching him leave her life again.</p>
      <p>When he said there was nothing between him and Sakura, Karin could have let it go. Could have stood before him, dropped her walls and bared her heart—<em>What about me? What am I to you, Sasuke?</em></p>
      <p>But she didn’t.</p>
      <p><em>She’s a good girl</em>, was what she said instead.</p>
      <p>When Sakura asked Karin if she loved him, Karin could have told her the truth instead of sticking her nose up in the air.<em><br/></em></p>
      <p>
        <em>No way in hell, I’m not as crazy as you!</em>
      </p>
      <p>When Sakura told her, <em>I can make Sasuke-kun happy, Karin. I’m sure of it. Won’t you help me?</em> Karin could have argued, <em>So can I</em>.</p>
      <p>She could have. But she swallowed it down, betrayed her heart. Sealed her fate.</p>
      <p><em>Take care of him</em>.</p>
      <p>There are many things Karin could have done instead of letting him go. But there is little she can do anymore.</p>
      <p>All she can do is watch as Sasuke has a daughter he loves but doesn’t know. A home he treasures but doesn’t inhabit. A wife he cares for but isn’t in love with.</p>
      <p>And Karin wonders, now—as everything she ever wanted for Sasuke turns into bittersweet reality, Karin just wonders, <em>what if</em>…?</p>
      <p>“I loved you once, you know?”</p>
      <p><em>Loved</em>. Because anything else would be too much for either of them. Too big a confession, too big an implication. Too big a burden.</p>
      <p>She isn’t even planning to tell him. Doesn’t recognize the taste on her tongue until the words are out.</p>
      <p>It surprises her, that she doesn’t feel as naked as she always thought she would. As vulnerable. As weak.</p>
      <p>She feels tired, instead. Resigned.</p>
      <p>It only worsens as she sees Sasuke’s eyes widen, his fingers freeze.</p>
      <p>“You never said anything,” he says at last.</p>
      <p>She shrugs, lips curled up in a humorless smile, “You had enough on your plate. And someone already waiting for you back home.”</p>
      <p>Sasuke opens his mouth, closes it. His eyes don’t waver from his cup of tea, but he doesn’t take it to his lips. “…I see.”</p>
      <p>Karin’s entire being aches, her hands ball into fists. She feels the need to explain it, to justify herself. To make him understand why, just <em>why</em> she had to let him go.</p>
      <p>But her naive wishes clash with his reality and she knows no explanation will be enough.</p>
      <p>After all these years, all she has left to offer him is the truth. Her truth.</p>
      <p>“I… wanted you to be happy, Sasuke. I still do.”</p>
      <p>“But not with you?” His voice is impassive, and yet the question still leaves a bruise.</p>
      <p>“…I didn’t think I could make you happier.”</p>
      <p>Slowly, ever so slowly, Sasuke’s eyes raise to meet hers. Piercing with intent, just like his words.</p>
      <p>“And now?”</p>
      <p>Karin loses her breath, and with it the last of her walls. All that is left is raw honesty. It comes pouring out of her, smelling like regret.</p>
      <p>“Now… I think we could have been something,” she croaks. “You and I.”</p>
      <p>He holds her eyes for a long moment—and for the first time, Karin lets him in. Lets him see through her, into all the words she swallowed and all the feelings she buried.</p>
      <p>She sees it, then; sees the understanding dawning on Sasuke’s eyes, and also… <em>also…</em></p>
      <p>
        <em>What if…?</em>
      </p>
      <p>Her throat clogs, her eyes burn.</p>
      <p>It’s almost a relief when Sasuke closes his own and turns away from her.</p>
      <p>When he opens his eyes again, he’s staring through the window, face taut.</p>
      <p>“…I guess we'll never know.”</p>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Any negative comments about SasuKarin will be deleted on sight.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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